My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
