There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
