So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
