Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
