Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
