Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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