I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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