I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Even my vagina gasped.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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