i don't like sucking hair
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
