never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
