I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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