Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
