I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
