I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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