he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
