I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
