So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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