i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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