well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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