also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
