hell yes lets make some ravioli
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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