who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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