I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
