I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
