i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
