Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
id be glad to
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
