I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
