Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
