The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
