If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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