Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
