he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
