I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
The struggles of a small town man whore
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I deserve this hangover.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
