after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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