bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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