New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
