My first STD was from a foam party
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
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