I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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