i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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