tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize