I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
