Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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