You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
