Cold hands, warm shart.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
