He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
