Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize