So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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