You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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