He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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