So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
