Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
