My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize