I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
