Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I think a kid would responsible me up
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
