After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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