Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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