I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
