You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Randomize
