i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
