We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
