Buhtt sex?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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